What is Normal?
I have completely lost every conception concerning what is normal in this country. Putting these experiences into words can’t really do them justice but just to give you a clip of what everyday life is, I will try. Here it goes.
Galloping and Galllivanting
The other day our group was waiting to go to Hub Day and Phil’s mom hadn’t realized that Kyrgyzstan decided against daylight savings this year so they were an hour off schedule. When he rushed out of the house, she forgot to pack him a lunch. Right as he was telling us he had nothing to eat, a little boy (maybe 5 years old) came riding in on a horse that was ten sizes too big for him yelling “Philippe! Philippe!” We didn’t understand what was going on until the little boy threw Phil a bag of warm pita bread- then we figured that his mom felt bad so she sent the neighbors boy on horseback to deliver his lunch.
My morning’s chores range from fetching water to washing and rinsing my pee bucket (ever since it has gotten cold, my mama gave me a bucket to keep in my room so I don’t have to haul it to the outhouse in the middle of the night).
Martha the Cow
Everyday, my cow Martha gets into some kind of trouble. I can’t even explain how funny it was when I went to the outhouse and I heard something crash into the back of it. I was so worried that it was going to break, causing me to fall in. I ran out and realized that our cow had gotten stuck behind it. I went around to the other side to see how sticky the predicament was and almost lost it when I saw her face, because she knew she was screwed. I went and got my mama and Tanya and as Tanya was trying to get her to back up by throwing pebbles at her, my mom runs around to the other side of the fence and started beating her head with a stick until she backed up. I guess she was kind of freaked out because she launched backward and almost took the entire outhouse down with her. Tanya and I were dying laughing but my mom seemed pretty pissed until she realized what had happened and she started laughing too. They moved two metal crates in the small opening behind the outhouse but I swear not one of us would have thought she would have been able to fit there in the first place.
Trouble
I think I am starting to get too dependent on my neighbor Tim because it seems like we’re always getting chased by something and he’s the only one who instinctually reaches down to pick up a rock for some kind of defense (my instinct is always to run). He chooses fight, I choose flight even though I think that I would be much safer if I carried a large rock or stick around with me. Whether it be the town drunk, who we so fondly refer to as “chai guy”, geese, donkeys or dogs, he’s always there to ward off or deflect some kind of danger. Since we’re living almost 9 hours apart (he’s in Jalal Abad) I figure I should get used to being left to my own devices. Not to say that he avoids trouble or anything, he’s already been bitten by his dog and slammed his head into a tree on the way out to my outhouse one night when we were hanging out (he didn’t cut through the chicken coup like I told him to and now he’s got a pretty nasty permanent dent). I secretly think he’s trying to rival the number of times I have been sent to the medical office, even though his ways seem to be much more creative. He’s probably one of my closest friends here (literally and figuratively) so we spend a lot of time together even though I think we are a very unlikely pair seeing as how together we attract all sorts of trouble. Maybe it is best that we are on opposite sides of the country.
The Russian Banya
The real Russian banya involves two people who take turns beating each other with herb-like branches. Every week Phil gets beaten by his dad in the banya. One day we were over his house for lunch and afterwards as we were leaving his mom comes out and asks Tim if he wants to join Phil and his dad in the banya tonight. I looked at him and told him he probably wouldn’t get the offer again so he should just do it, so he was like, alright, I’ll be there. Then Phil’s mom looks at me and she goes, and do you want one too? Since you only get one banya per week, when one is offered, you never turn it down so I said, “sure why not, but only if you promise to beat me hard”. So Tim and I went home to get our towels. On the way back over I was like, Tim, what are we going to do right now? And he goes, the answer is simple, I’m going to go bathe in a hot steamy room with Phil and his Dad and we’re going to take turns beating each other with branches while we’re naked; and you’re going to do the same but with his mom. Once we got over there, Phil’s Dad told the guys that it was ready and I wished them good luck. Apparently the banya was so hot and steamy that during the middle of it then went outside (into the freezing cold) and Phil’s dad hosed them down with freezing water so they could stand the heat when they went back in. They both told me that Phil’s mom was busy making dinner and could see straight out of the kitchen window at their naked butts running around in the freezing cold getting drenched by water. I think they agreed that it was rather refreshing.
After they went, Phil’s mom told me that she was busy making dinner so I was going to take a banya with his 10 year old sister Alyssa instead. I am almost certain that she had not bathed with her brother’s friends before but since she seemed like it was no big deal, I didn’t either. So we go in and she throws some water on the rocks to make the room steam and she gets the big bundle of herb sticks. I faced one of the walls as she steamed the branches and then beat me on the back with them. I asked her if she wanted me to beat her too, but she politely declined. Afterwards we took turns washing using the communal bowl and communal wash clothes. It was actually pretty helpful to see how someone else takes a banya because I learned how to be much more efficient with my water use. After taking a banya you’re not supposed to do anything but rest and drink tea. Since we live on opposite sides of the village so his mom told us that we had to sleep over there. Tim slept on the floor in his room and I slept on the pull out couch (which is a little bit smaller than a double bed) with Alyssa and Phil’s other 4 year old sister Vika. So as I was going to bed Vika rested her forehead on mine, threw her arm around my neck and slept as close to me as possible the entire night. If I tried to move over as much as a centimeter, she would shift her body over too. Finally I gave up and resigned myself to the fact that I would wake up to a 4 year old with her face pressed up against mine. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep but she’s the absolute cutest girl in the world. I opened my eyes once during the night to see her teeny face and big cheeks and started to laugh quietly when I saw that her nose was pressed up against mine.
Galloping and Galllivanting
The other day our group was waiting to go to Hub Day and Phil’s mom hadn’t realized that Kyrgyzstan decided against daylight savings this year so they were an hour off schedule. When he rushed out of the house, she forgot to pack him a lunch. Right as he was telling us he had nothing to eat, a little boy (maybe 5 years old) came riding in on a horse that was ten sizes too big for him yelling “Philippe! Philippe!” We didn’t understand what was going on until the little boy threw Phil a bag of warm pita bread- then we figured that his mom felt bad so she sent the neighbors boy on horseback to deliver his lunch.
My morning’s chores range from fetching water to washing and rinsing my pee bucket (ever since it has gotten cold, my mama gave me a bucket to keep in my room so I don’t have to haul it to the outhouse in the middle of the night).
Martha the Cow
Everyday, my cow Martha gets into some kind of trouble. I can’t even explain how funny it was when I went to the outhouse and I heard something crash into the back of it. I was so worried that it was going to break, causing me to fall in. I ran out and realized that our cow had gotten stuck behind it. I went around to the other side to see how sticky the predicament was and almost lost it when I saw her face, because she knew she was screwed. I went and got my mama and Tanya and as Tanya was trying to get her to back up by throwing pebbles at her, my mom runs around to the other side of the fence and started beating her head with a stick until she backed up. I guess she was kind of freaked out because she launched backward and almost took the entire outhouse down with her. Tanya and I were dying laughing but my mom seemed pretty pissed until she realized what had happened and she started laughing too. They moved two metal crates in the small opening behind the outhouse but I swear not one of us would have thought she would have been able to fit there in the first place.
Trouble
I think I am starting to get too dependent on my neighbor Tim because it seems like we’re always getting chased by something and he’s the only one who instinctually reaches down to pick up a rock for some kind of defense (my instinct is always to run). He chooses fight, I choose flight even though I think that I would be much safer if I carried a large rock or stick around with me. Whether it be the town drunk, who we so fondly refer to as “chai guy”, geese, donkeys or dogs, he’s always there to ward off or deflect some kind of danger. Since we’re living almost 9 hours apart (he’s in Jalal Abad) I figure I should get used to being left to my own devices. Not to say that he avoids trouble or anything, he’s already been bitten by his dog and slammed his head into a tree on the way out to my outhouse one night when we were hanging out (he didn’t cut through the chicken coup like I told him to and now he’s got a pretty nasty permanent dent). I secretly think he’s trying to rival the number of times I have been sent to the medical office, even though his ways seem to be much more creative. He’s probably one of my closest friends here (literally and figuratively) so we spend a lot of time together even though I think we are a very unlikely pair seeing as how together we attract all sorts of trouble. Maybe it is best that we are on opposite sides of the country.
The Russian Banya
The real Russian banya involves two people who take turns beating each other with herb-like branches. Every week Phil gets beaten by his dad in the banya. One day we were over his house for lunch and afterwards as we were leaving his mom comes out and asks Tim if he wants to join Phil and his dad in the banya tonight. I looked at him and told him he probably wouldn’t get the offer again so he should just do it, so he was like, alright, I’ll be there. Then Phil’s mom looks at me and she goes, and do you want one too? Since you only get one banya per week, when one is offered, you never turn it down so I said, “sure why not, but only if you promise to beat me hard”. So Tim and I went home to get our towels. On the way back over I was like, Tim, what are we going to do right now? And he goes, the answer is simple, I’m going to go bathe in a hot steamy room with Phil and his Dad and we’re going to take turns beating each other with branches while we’re naked; and you’re going to do the same but with his mom. Once we got over there, Phil’s Dad told the guys that it was ready and I wished them good luck. Apparently the banya was so hot and steamy that during the middle of it then went outside (into the freezing cold) and Phil’s dad hosed them down with freezing water so they could stand the heat when they went back in. They both told me that Phil’s mom was busy making dinner and could see straight out of the kitchen window at their naked butts running around in the freezing cold getting drenched by water. I think they agreed that it was rather refreshing.
After they went, Phil’s mom told me that she was busy making dinner so I was going to take a banya with his 10 year old sister Alyssa instead. I am almost certain that she had not bathed with her brother’s friends before but since she seemed like it was no big deal, I didn’t either. So we go in and she throws some water on the rocks to make the room steam and she gets the big bundle of herb sticks. I faced one of the walls as she steamed the branches and then beat me on the back with them. I asked her if she wanted me to beat her too, but she politely declined. Afterwards we took turns washing using the communal bowl and communal wash clothes. It was actually pretty helpful to see how someone else takes a banya because I learned how to be much more efficient with my water use. After taking a banya you’re not supposed to do anything but rest and drink tea. Since we live on opposite sides of the village so his mom told us that we had to sleep over there. Tim slept on the floor in his room and I slept on the pull out couch (which is a little bit smaller than a double bed) with Alyssa and Phil’s other 4 year old sister Vika. So as I was going to bed Vika rested her forehead on mine, threw her arm around my neck and slept as close to me as possible the entire night. If I tried to move over as much as a centimeter, she would shift her body over too. Finally I gave up and resigned myself to the fact that I would wake up to a 4 year old with her face pressed up against mine. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep but she’s the absolute cutest girl in the world. I opened my eyes once during the night to see her teeny face and big cheeks and started to laugh quietly when I saw that her nose was pressed up against mine.
posted by Katie P. at 6:48 PM
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