Are we there yet?
I can almost taste the starbucks I’ll be drinking, I can almost smell the salt surf on the Aegean and I can almost feel the crisp 5-star linen sheets I’ll be sleeping in. I feel like this last month of teaching has drained every ounce of energy I have. Wednesdays are always my worst and today I couldn’t take it anymore. In one class, the kids sauntered in 15 minutes late, were talking and walking around the class, being disruptive. I just sat at my desk and stared at them. 25 minutes into the lesson I was still sitting, still staring. They finally caught on about 30 minutes in that I was waiting for them to be ready. I was too tired to fight or argue or discipline them. Probably not the best classroom management strategy but I can’t force anyone to want to learn.
As the end of this year approaches, I have realized a few things about myself have reflected on what I’ve been doing in this country for the last 8 months and also what I am going to do differently next year. Teaching is way harder than I ever anticipated. I have always had respect for the teaching profession but now that I’ve done it, I know that it takes someone with incredible stamina and resilience. I felt like a monkey in half of my classes, jumping around, making hand gestures, trying to get my point across, looking ridiculous in the process. If it’s one thing I hate the most it’s when students mock me. I am doing this for their benefit, and yeah, sometimes I’m un-purposely funny, I would probably laugh at myself too but nothing makes me feel worse when someone makes a smart-aleck remark in Russian that they think I won’t understand.
In this country and in Peace Corps in general there’s nothing deadlier than a, “what’s the use” attitude. I know this because I’ve had one this past week and maybe even this entire last month. I got so discouraged when I did a review exercise in one of my classes of all the material we’ve been working on. All the students were relying on my 2 star students to do all the work and it made me feel like all of the energy I spent was in vain. I realized instead of having these self-defeating “why am I here” thoughts, I need to put that energy into thinking of things that I can do differently for next year. I have already offered to help the Peace Corps Staff put together a new curriculum that more accurately reflects student’s abilities and gather new materials rather than have to resort to the ridiculously out-dated textbooks where one of the exercises was even difficult for me as a native English speaker.
Hopefully this summer I’ll be able to relax, refocus and regain my energy to be a more effective English teacher for next year because right now, I’m spent.
As for Turkey, I have two words: Almost there.
As the end of this year approaches, I have realized a few things about myself have reflected on what I’ve been doing in this country for the last 8 months and also what I am going to do differently next year. Teaching is way harder than I ever anticipated. I have always had respect for the teaching profession but now that I’ve done it, I know that it takes someone with incredible stamina and resilience. I felt like a monkey in half of my classes, jumping around, making hand gestures, trying to get my point across, looking ridiculous in the process. If it’s one thing I hate the most it’s when students mock me. I am doing this for their benefit, and yeah, sometimes I’m un-purposely funny, I would probably laugh at myself too but nothing makes me feel worse when someone makes a smart-aleck remark in Russian that they think I won’t understand.
In this country and in Peace Corps in general there’s nothing deadlier than a, “what’s the use” attitude. I know this because I’ve had one this past week and maybe even this entire last month. I got so discouraged when I did a review exercise in one of my classes of all the material we’ve been working on. All the students were relying on my 2 star students to do all the work and it made me feel like all of the energy I spent was in vain. I realized instead of having these self-defeating “why am I here” thoughts, I need to put that energy into thinking of things that I can do differently for next year. I have already offered to help the Peace Corps Staff put together a new curriculum that more accurately reflects student’s abilities and gather new materials rather than have to resort to the ridiculously out-dated textbooks where one of the exercises was even difficult for me as a native English speaker.
Hopefully this summer I’ll be able to relax, refocus and regain my energy to be a more effective English teacher for next year because right now, I’m spent.
As for Turkey, I have two words: Almost there.
posted by Katie P. at 5:19 AM
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